Fighting!

I came across a quote that I love the other day.  It isn't the first time I had read it but this time it really struck a chord.  Anne Frank wrote: "I've learned one thing: you only really get to know a person after a fight. Only then can you judge their true character!"

Between my marriage and the relationship I had immediately after I learned the truth of this.  I never realized how much fighting meant when I was married.  I thought fighting was unhealthy and so I would feel bad when I felt like I was spurring on a fight.  In reality there was never any fighting because my husband would never argue back and that was infuriating.  It was like something was missing.

Next relationship brings a new chemistry.  I felt I had truly met my match because I found someone who spoke their mind immediately and stood up for themselves and their opinions.  I loved this and it did cause a lot of sparks.  I loved it, he hated it.

Somewhere between the two types of chemistry must be a good fighting experience.  I had a counselor tell me that a relationship with no fighting is VERY unhealthy.  There will be conflict when two lives merge.  People should stay themselves and be okay with that.  It is great to disagree.  It is how you fight that matters is what I learned.

Back to Anne Frank's great quote - I think she is correct.  When you fight do you have someone who makes it all about them if you were the one who brought up a concern?  Does the person stand up to you when they have good ideas of their own or do they lack the will to do so?  I guess all this goes back to how we watched our parents and others argue or never argue as the case may be.

Moral of this story is that maybe you are long overdue for a healthy fight.  One that is stimulating and actually fun!  Get your juices flowing and enjoy it!