Why Haven't I Heard From You?

Do you know the familiar Reba McEntire song "Why Haven't I Heard From You"?  Will, I know it well and have that feeling about people (men) a lot.  When it comes to girlfriends or family, I am very at ease and we just catch up when we can and there are no hard feelings.  I can even be that way with men that are strictly friends with me.  However, if someone shows interest in me romantically and wants to woo me, it is pretty stupid for them to fall off the radar and then blame it on me.  I have seven email accounts, Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, text and a street address.  I am not hard to get a hold of.  My BlackBerry and I are very intimate.

Last week I had an email from a guy named "Steve".  However his email comes from a "George" so I am a bit confused.  We hit it off, as much as you can through email.  He showed interest for about 48 hours and I thought things were going great.  Then the wretched crickets creep in . . . I heard nothing.

Today, I get a one line email without punctuation that says "haven't heard from you in a while".  Well, that's right.  Because I am a lady and am not going to email you first.  Yes, I am that ancient and old fashioned at heart.  In whatever relationship I fall into next, the guy is doing the pursuing.  So, men, if you want my attention, then "show up" and let me know you are thinking about you.  Don't be so lame as to think I will fall right into your lap because I am that desperate, because I'm NOT!

Have a happy Monday!!!  :)

I simply don't know how to say some things.

I am rarely at a loss for words but oh boy, I am so perplexed.  Here is the story:

Last Wednesday I initiate contact with a guy on POF.  He writes back, and there are "sparks".  We do a lot of the same work, have a lot of similar hobbies.  He has heard of the tiny town I grew up in and neither of us want to eat seafood.  I think this is all good.  We "chat" on Gmail chat (typing only) as we work for the next two days.  Then on Saturday we decide to video chat.  He does not live far from me but I am very private.  So, seeing as I'm not going out with him soon, video chat was the next best thing.

A few things struck me odd.  First, he hardly knows about Skype even though he was in a long distance relationship for a year and his kids live far from him.  Why would a man not video with 1)the girlfriend, and 2) his children?  Go figure. 

Being the Scrooge of dating, I was in my yoga clothes and cuddled up (ugly single mom style) on the couch for this blessed event.  Then we connect.  Yes, I had seen his picture before and yes, he had seen mine.  I thought he was a decent looking guy and he was very nice about my photos as well.  But I have to say, there was no physical attraction.  Which is just as well but kind of a let down.  Maybe the camera just doesn't do him justice or whatever.  I felt like I was in a zoo exhibit being watched.  I have done a lot of Skype time in my life and you need to do something interactive or anything other than a good game of "stare eyes". 

I like to communicate with this person and it is flattering to be liked and complimented but did he feel something I didn't?  Is it possible that there could be attraction if we met in person even if we don't have it over video?  I just don't know.  I'm so out of my realm with the dating stuff that I just can't make sense of it.  And yes, since not feeling what I thought I would feel, I am . . . speechless.

Kebiyar

Well, I think his name is Kebiyar.  But let me just say that he is irritating.  Don't get me wrong, I appreciate other cultures but some are just not my cup of tea.  This guy is a real prize. . . for someone, just not me.

Kebiyar wrote an email to me that was so long and full of very in depth information about himself that I was overwhelmed.  I replied with about two sentences and then got this:

Hello Angie
Don't mistake me Angie, I am also like you, scribbling some thing, especially for the sake of acting for school children. ( One act plays ). I was very active in dramatics ( acting ) few years back and I won several prizes including University Best actor.

Oh.... Angie, I did not introduce myself.
My name is K.B.*********** (KBR-kebiyar). I am working in I***** R******* as Senior Section Officer, I deal with HR matters. I am open minded, gentle, honest, humorous, optimistic caring, flexible funny and willing to share my feelings, ideas and thinking with like minded people. I LOVE reading,
writing, nature, traveling, movies, meeting different people, photography
and music especially semi classic. I am interested in psychology,
literature, philosophy, science, counselling, HR and OB.
I am of medium height ( 5ft 6inches ) and weight (73kg), with black hair and black eyes..

Do you agree with this? ( Robert Frost )
the woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep

Whatever happened in the past is for good only
Whatever is happening in the present is for good only
Whatever will happen in the future is also for good only ( Bhagavat Geetha)
Don’t you agree that positive outlook towards life gives us HOPE,ENERGY AND RESOURCES for our future endeavors ?


HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN
With Warm regards
kebiyar

I did not answer this as I don't know how to graciously put a halt to communication.  Since then he has emailed twice in quite a pathetic way asking if he offended me.  I'm sure he is a nice guy, I just can't bring myself to email him back.  It's no wonder I am single!  :)

Oh man, oh man, oh man . . .

I'm not quite convinced there is a man out there for me but I'm having a good time browsing.  :)  Well, that is, when it isn't really painful.

I will say that in the midst of all this my new gf in Florida gave me a call today and we were having the greatest chat when my stupid phone died.  But, even if she is the one good thing that comes of all of this, it has been worth it!  Thank heavens for good girlfriends!!!

Today, I had three different strangers try to start an IM session with me while I was checking messages on Plenty of Fish.  Why would anyone want to IM with someone they have not even exchanged a few emails with?  Am I missing something?  And then when I reject their IM request, they don't continue to email. 

Dear Men,  if you really want our attention then don't be full of dead ends.  If we don't want to IM, maybe try email.  Don't just give up!  Duh!  That doesn't mean to be a creepy stalker who can't take a hint but I think most women think it is sexy and masculine if you don't give up easily and know how to woo us even if it is online.  If a girl says that she wants to email and get to know each other for a few months before meeting face to face but you just disappear after that, we know that you were after a piece of ***.  And that's great if that is really what you are but I am not so sure that most of you know the impression you give.

Also, my beloved men, don't nag about pictures.  Honestly, a picture lasts a long time.  I get that you are visual, so are we.  We want all things to be aesthetically pleasing, including you, but notice that few of us are nagging you about photos every few hours.  Take what you can get, be complimentary and PATIENT!

Okay - enough nagging at the men!  :)  Here is a good story for you.  A man nags about a photo, I email him one.  I didn't think it was the ugliest photo of me but I was in ugly pajamas because I was laid up with a broken bone for a few weeks and my kids were playing with the camera and snapped the pic.  So without explaining everything I sent the photo with a brief explanation that I was laid up - nothing more.  The guy writes back that it "took a strong person to send that, it is obvious you were very ill".  Well, he felt sheepish when I thanked him but said that I only had a broken rib.  Good grief.  He could have just lied and said "nice pic".  But I'm "a strong person" who sent that!  lol

Same guy asked me to be friends with him on Facebook.  So I did (in a momentary lapse of reason) and imagine my surprise when he had about 100 mutual friends with my ex.  Small world.  He is also affiliated with a person caught up in a huge multi million dollar scandal and I just don't need that kind of drama.  So, I de-friended him and let him know that it isn't personal but really, it is, I was just being courteous by lying even though he doesn't not understand the concept.

Here's to another fine day in cyber land!

P.S.  Jerk from NY sent me a message this morning to give me a weather update.  He wanted me to wish him luck in his blizzard conditions in NY.  I wanted to tell him to lick a flag pole but I decided to just ignore him.

Oh, I Got No Work Done! But . . .

So, I found some interesting people to chat with today which I loved.  One was an awesome lady in Florida who is also a mom.  Even though she is married she felt my grief with the men you meet on "pen pal" sites and the like.  I am not sure that men grasp the concept of pen pals.  Seems to me they want to meet up in person as fast as possible.

I am listed in my area on PlentyofFish.com.  I don't know why I signed up on there as I don't really want to date someone right now.  But we'll leave it there a bit and see how it goes.  What I know is that the men do not take much care when doing their profiles and posting photos.  Almost all the men have photos but they all fall into a few definitions:
1.  Taken by a cell phone camera (which in this day and age I suppose is okay if you got a clear picture)
2.  If they have decent abs, they will flaunt them.  They leave nothing to the imagination.  Women who show that much skin in a profile picture are called a lot of unflattering words but men I guess are special and we should just make them feel good about their abs.
3.  If they have tattoos they feel the need to show them all.  I don't know that there is anything left to discover of some of these men as far as their bodies go.  They leave nothing hidden. 
4.  If they are on Craigslist you need to be VERY careful, you will get a photo of something you never wanted to see and good luck finding the tree for the forest on the one I ran into.  I mean has that person never heard of manscaping?  EW! 

As for profiles - men are not great with words.  Not only that but they obviously cannot spell and they don't even care about uppercase letters.  I suppose the shift key takes to much work to operate so why bother.  :)

All men want someone fun, adventurous, casual, independent, happy and "NO DRAMA".  I am so sick of these requests that I could cry.  I must say that the men I know are much more dramatic than the women in my life.  Few are fun, few are adventurous, all are far too casual, none are independent (they all still need a mommy) and they claim to be happy but one has to wonder how much happiness you can feel if you have no command of the English language.  :)

I know, I am cranky and middle aged and a bit scorned but good grief men.  You want a good looking package on your arm but we want the same and we want you to have a brain and be considerate enough to our intelligence to put your best foot forward.  Pretty please?  I'm almost afraid to hear how any of you eat.  The thought is frightening to me. 

Okay, enough gripes.  I am quite content with my days prospects of pen pals and maybe even a date or two down the line. 

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time a girl found herself single at the age of 37.  This girl is me!  I have four kids and am not really ready to date face to face but love meeting people online and chatting.  The four kids take up the majority of my time and to be honest my self confidence is not 100% after a broken marriage and a relationship after that landed me dumped and feeling horrific.  :)

I have been on one dating site lately and one "penpal" site.  The people I find are okay but there is always a funny twist.  For example, a guy last night in our first conversation asked me for my pant size.  This was a first for me.  I told him my pant size just assuming it was a harmless question but later I asked him what that was about and he admitted to wanting to know "if you had a cute butt".  Well, I assured him I did not have a cute butt.  My backside is not huge but I am not in perfect shape and even when I am, my rear is not my best feature.  I will say that this question and the stupidity behind it is probably due to his 25 short years here on Earth.  Perhaps he could have been told that size does not matter.  lol  I have girlfriends with a bigger pant size and fantastic butts.  And I know girls with the same size as me with horrible and saggy butts.  Life experience surely matters.

Then night before last I meet a man in New York who is highly educated, professional, divorced and has kids in college - none at home.  I think to myself that on paper this guy has it all for me.  So he asks me to chat later in the evening.  I tell him that I can "type" chat or email and that is great.  He kept asking me if I had webcam and stuff.  He just didn't get that I wasn't going to video chat but finally it sunk in.  We type chatted for only a few minutes.  He started to inquire of my ex-husband and if he ever saw his kids.  I said that my ex had been in town for three weeks over the holidays and stayed at my house during that time.  Dead silence.  Can you hear the crickets?  Dead silence.  So, assuming he was a judgemental and unaccepting idiot, I signed off. 

We shall see what happens in the wide world of online chatting/dating tonight and I will keep you posted and perhaps you may even get a few chuckles.  People are crazy.