Some may say that texting is not a good idea when dating someone and that you should make phone calls or see each other. That is all fine and dandy but I believe that if done properly, texting just adds fun and some great laughs if done right. I also think that different forms of communication are better for different people.
One thing that I happen to be good at is answering people via text. I hate talking on the phone but if someone emails or texts me, they will hear back from me quickly. I am not one to leave someone hanging or to let them feel stupid for texting when they get nothing in return.
A while back I was dating someone who did not have text etiquette and this was hard for me as I try to be prompt and thoughtful and long for someone to return the effort. I would try to flirt or have fun and I would just hear crickets in return. I felt so stupid time and time again for putting myself out there. To my face this person claimed they were interested in me but then they were never very anxious to hear from me or to answer a text. I tried to be understanding but I felt stupid one time too many and knew I couldn't keep being ignored that way.
I should make this clear - I did not do the over texting thing where you make the other person afraid of you. :) I know that most men don't want to have long conversation over text and either do I. However, it doesn't kill anyone to send a smiley face back to someone. It goes a long way just to acknowledge someone.
Some men may consider that high maintenance - for a girl to expect to be responded to. However, if men want us to put up with some of their strange habits (which we would gladly do and we all have our weird things) then they could at least be courteous.
This of course does not apply when someone is working or at a family function or something like that. We all need to realize that you can't expect someone to be tied to their phone 24/7. You have to be reasonable.
The saddest part was that I actually liked the guy who wouldn't even humor me. But, lesson learned. I need what I need that way and knowing that hopefully I will be able to see someone else's needs and meet them when the time comes. After all, the fun of dating and relationships is being there for each other and learning what makes the other person tick. It is fascinating and fun if you are just willing to put some effort into it.
One last note - the booty call text is never ok for girls or guys. If you are still doing the booty call routine please save all of humanity and stop pretending like you want a relationship. This goes for the drunk texters as well. :)
Monday, August 27, 2012
Friday, August 24, 2012
Crickets
I hear crickets when it comes to my dating life. I'm not complaining, this was done on purpose. I deliberately took myself off the market for a while. Dating is hideous. I thought I had found someone great to spend time with but if that person isn't even excited to see or talk to me then what is the use? Crickets. :) Don't get me wrong - great guy - he just didn't seem to be that into me.
I'm a romantic dork. I want flowers, great music, good kissing, and I want to feel adored. Who doesn't? I get that those things don't happen daily - I am not completely delusional. However, I do think it is practical to want a man who is thoughtful and who makes you feel like he would rather be with you than anywhere else. I don't want to be some guys filler date aka warm body.
In other news, I see people around me making horrible decisions that make me want to refrain from dating for even longer. One friend of mine desperately wanted to make a connection with a guy that she knows and likes. I guess he is very kind to her and he is great looking. She asked what she should do and I told her that should he want to date her that wild horses wouldn't stop him. He would make it happen. She did not wait - she asked him to her home to make him dinner with her children there. They had a great friendly evening but she knew right then and there that friends was as far as it was going to get. I was a good girl and didn't say "I told you so".
A guilty pleasure of mine is watching the Millionaire Matchmaker. She has some good tips. When talking to a very smallish gay man (who she was screening for a client) he went on and on about how great he was but she had to point out to him that if he was over six feet tall and had endless money would he really choose him to be with? This was a painful question but he immediately said "I understand". He needs to look for someone more like him in every way.
Another girlfriend of mine still pines and longs for a man who cheated on her. She has asked recently when that awful feeling inside of missing him so much will go away. I didn't reply to her at all because in my experience it doesn't really go away. You always love someone and you love the idea of them and the future you talked about building. It's a tough one trying to get over someone that you know is not good for you.
Anyway, maybe I will get back on the dating wagon soon. I do want a relationship but I don't want to be completely taken over by it and I don't want a man to give up his independence for me. I just want to work well together, be twitterpated and respect each other. :) Is that too much to ask?
I'm a romantic dork. I want flowers, great music, good kissing, and I want to feel adored. Who doesn't? I get that those things don't happen daily - I am not completely delusional. However, I do think it is practical to want a man who is thoughtful and who makes you feel like he would rather be with you than anywhere else. I don't want to be some guys filler date aka warm body.
In other news, I see people around me making horrible decisions that make me want to refrain from dating for even longer. One friend of mine desperately wanted to make a connection with a guy that she knows and likes. I guess he is very kind to her and he is great looking. She asked what she should do and I told her that should he want to date her that wild horses wouldn't stop him. He would make it happen. She did not wait - she asked him to her home to make him dinner with her children there. They had a great friendly evening but she knew right then and there that friends was as far as it was going to get. I was a good girl and didn't say "I told you so".
A guilty pleasure of mine is watching the Millionaire Matchmaker. She has some good tips. When talking to a very smallish gay man (who she was screening for a client) he went on and on about how great he was but she had to point out to him that if he was over six feet tall and had endless money would he really choose him to be with? This was a painful question but he immediately said "I understand". He needs to look for someone more like him in every way.
Another girlfriend of mine still pines and longs for a man who cheated on her. She has asked recently when that awful feeling inside of missing him so much will go away. I didn't reply to her at all because in my experience it doesn't really go away. You always love someone and you love the idea of them and the future you talked about building. It's a tough one trying to get over someone that you know is not good for you.
Anyway, maybe I will get back on the dating wagon soon. I do want a relationship but I don't want to be completely taken over by it and I don't want a man to give up his independence for me. I just want to work well together, be twitterpated and respect each other. :) Is that too much to ask?
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