A guy who seemed very kind from the start was emailing me through a dating site. I replied and we spent a few weeks chatting back and forth. Finally we exchanged numbers for texting.
He is out of town a few days a week because he works for an airline and travels. Because he has his children all the time he wanted to do things together right from the start that included kids. I am not willing to make my kids jump in with strangers right from the start. It isn't them that should have to date someone or the whole family. But I respected the fact that this man didn't want to be away from his kids, at least he took fatherhood responsibilities seriously.
He had eluded to having me over one night but it was in hindsight, not in advance. I asked him in all reality how he ever intended to date someone with how his schedule is and with his children? My point was, I am someone who needs to get out of my house because I don't travel for a living so how does that fit with his life. He came back with asking if I thought that was a deal breaker and I said yes, that I didn't know how if situations are wrong people can put real effort into something impossible.
The guy proceeded to get rude like I was just writing him off. And I just had to say that I was being real and that I wasn't the kind of mom that would ask a dad to be away from his kids when he didn't feel good about it. I don't want that kind of resentment. So he says that his partner would get to travel with him. I had to remind him that I have four young kids and I don't leave them for days on end with others to care for. He got a bit angry.
Finally he spills it that he is retiring from the airline industry in fall, owns half a business here in town and is building a home in an affluent part of our community. I expressed that my previous conclusion had been calculated based on what he had told me before. That I couldn't possibly have known to ask someone around 40 if they were retiring soon and if someone has a house you don't normally out of the blue ask if they are building a new one. And you don't typically pull out of your hat that someone is an owner of a business. These are things that have to be said to someone, not guessed. He got very furious about my "assumptions".
So much for having a heart and just trying to not be a player who just wastes the time of other people. I thought I was being unselfish and caring to just let him know that I had needs and he does too and the two didn't seem to mesh. It wasn't personal really, just what is best for kids and individuals.
Haven't heard from him since. I guess that while I was trying to put my best forward I got to see his ugly side. But what I really couldn't believe was how he wanted to argue like we were already a couple and we had only chatted over email and text. It should not be so much drama right out of the gates.
This leads me to all men who say they want "no drama". Would you all please get a life. There is drama in life. Much of which you bring on and we clean up. If you don't want drama - don't create it.