I dated a guy for over a year that loved to say "the definition of insanity is to repeat the same action and expect a different result". Well this may be true of the dip that bangs his head on a cinder block wall. But for those who are trying to keep a relationship together or even for the person that aspires to a healthier lifestyle - steady wins the race and you always keep trying to do better. You keep communicating and you keep trying to do it better. You keep eating better when you can and exercising when you can in hopes to make a difference.
Repeating these good things is not insanity. This so called "man" also knew that I had been in a long relationship with someone who always made me doubt my own thinking. Always wondering if the lies I came across were in my head. Well, as single as I may be, I know I am not insane. According to Websters Dictionary this is really "insanity":
1: a deranged state of the mind usually occurring as a specific disorder (as schizophrenia)
2:
such unsoundness of mind or lack of understanding as prevents one from
having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular
relationship, status, or transaction or as removes one from criminal or
civil responsibility
3a : extreme folly or unreasonableness
b : something utterly foolish or unreasonable
So for all of you men or women who try to make someone in love with feel like they are crazy and insane, shame on you. It is abusive to make someone doubt their own thinking when they are only trying to make something work that is noble and in fact a righteous desire if you want to get all religious. Yes, this makes me angry. After decades of having men tell you that you aren't okay you can see why this may be a touchy place.
Here's the news flash: people who murder are insane - they don't listen to that voice inside that says this isn't ok or they don't have that voice. But those people who just go around treated people poorly or who have it in them to make someone feel like they are inconsequential in your life or even in society as a whole then you are just as horrible as the insane person. You can steal someones sunshine and that is a horrible thing to be guilty of. No, this doesn't mean you stay in a bad relationship or even one where you know the person isn't for you but why not leave with your dignity and as your final gift, let the person you are letting down leave with their dignity too. What should it matter to you?
And for that guy who in his own way accused me of his version of "insanity", I just wish I could say "which of us went on and repeated the same mistakes, in the same way?" And the answer if YOU! You were hitched again in no time. You did the same thing you always do and this is your third marriage and your countess relationship. So thank you to him for keeping me from being in the line up of crazy women you just have to divorce. No thank you. Should I ever marry again there will be no end to it in this lifetime.
And for the man who made me doubt my thinking for years - let it be a lesson to you: you can't live the life a liar and have everything else. When your lies are more important than the spouse you have a trust that is lost and never to be seen again. Learn from it so you don't do it again. Had I been able to respect you we would still be together.
And to the man who may be in my future and for all people out there - handle each other with care. You don't know what different people are battling in their own minds and if you really care for someone why wouldn't you show it in everything you do. Why play a game. Use the corresponding face and words for the corresponding emotion. It's so fun to know someone is crazy for you. Who doesn't want to believe that someone wants to talk to you or say hi! Why can't finding love be wonderful?