Being Pursued vs. Pursuing

Here is the biggest mistake I have made in all relationships I have had.  I never waited for the guy to pursue me!  I was an easy catch because I thought to play games like "hard to get" was stupid and that I was being honest with the guy and myself every time.  It was honest alright!  It was like wearing a banner that said "you don't even have to try, I'm yours". 

Don't mistake this for being easy to get in bed.  I have not typically been slutty.  Just like everyone there are moments in my life that I am not proud of but my norm is very much hard to get into bed but way too emotionally easy.  The guy knew that he had me from the get go because I assumed that since I didn't take his attention for granted, he wouldn't take mine or me for granted.  Such a foolish mistake!

If you are the female and you want a man you need to let him chase you.  Make him pursue you and go to great effort for you.  Not just his time and energy but even a little money.  If you are paying for everything or most things then you better be ready to continue doing so forever because you are setting a standard.  If you are the one going out of your way to see him or always the one traveling to be with him, get a brain.  You will always be the one planning everything and doing all the work to make it happen.  If he gives you reasons why he can't be the one buying, planning or otherwise, be prepared for the EXCUSES to continue. 

You may think that he is worth the effort and maybe for now he is.  But you better be prepared for the resentment that will hit you in the years to come.  Everyone wants to be wooed and wanted.  Everyone is flattered by someone who will plan an evening or go to any expense on their behalf.  Don't be the only one making the effort ladies.  Let the guy do it for quite a while and then in time, reciprocate so he knows you want to give back.  If he doesn't chase you he will chase other things.  Men like the chase, just ask them.  They like seeing if they can get the girl and it is an ego boost if they do.

You need the security of knowing that you didn't just land in his lap.  Let yourself have the blessing of knowing that he really wanted you just that much!  Make him work for you!  You deserve it and he will enjoy spoiling you!