Long Distance Relationships

If you had asked me a few years ago if I thought that a long distance relationship could possibly work I would have told you NEVER!!!  However, I read a quote recently that struck me.  “In true love the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged.” Hans Nouwens  


I loved this quote because I have done the long distance relationship now and for me it was a wonderful experience.  I do think it is harder for men than women at times because of the lack of physical contact.  However, I can say that as a woman approaches 40, there is an increase in sex drive that would rival any 20 year old guy!  So, who knows who it is easier for.  I just know that if two people want the relationship equally as much and are both committed to making it work, there is no reason it shouldn't work.

There are a few things you can do to help it along:

1.  Communicate - A LOT!  I think it is important to feel connected in your daily activities and it helps build trust.  I do think it can be over done and feel smothering but with all our technology it is easier than ever to feel connected so get texting, use IM programs and by all means make sure you have Skype. 

2.  Compromise - Each person is going to have different needs in their LDR.  These may change as time goes on and it is always best to get expectations and boundaries out in the open so you can find something that works for both of you.

3.  Benefit of the Doubt - When you are texting a lot of using IM you forget that 80% of our communication is nonverbal and we don't get that 80% through some technology.  Don't take offense at things until you ask questions that seek understanding.  Just assume that the person wouldn't hurt you or mean to offend you until you know more.  This will save you a ton of issues.  Just remember that you both share the goal of making each other happy.

4.  Plans - Always have a plan to see each other when you can.  This can be costly but it is priceless.  You need to connect.  Also, it is good for everyone to have something to look forward to and to work toward.

5.  Date - This sounds silly when it comes to the long distance relationship but it can work.  You can play games together online or off it you can make it work.  You can shop together online, you can watch a movie together and enjoy it with the company.  Just use your imagination.  Mix it up and keep it interesting just like you would if you were able to date in person.  You can even enjoy a good dinner together if you have Skype.  Time zones can be a challenge but if you want it to work, you will make it work.  No excuses.

Yes, the long distance relationship takes more effort than you can ever imagine but I believe that it makes for a relationship worth having and gives you a chance to get to know each others souls more than if you were always in person.  Just believe in it and give it a chance if you have found someone but think the distance is a deal breaker.  It doesn't have to be a road block - it can be an adventure!  Just change your outlook!