Ladies: You Are NOT An Option

I wish I could get this point through to myself, my girlfriends and every woman out there.  If a guys doesn't treat you like the main event but makes you feel like a last resort option then you must move on.  You deserve better.  However, if you are going to accept being treated as an option by anyone in your life then you send a big message (that is not attractive) that you do not respect yourself enough to take a stand and be treated better. 

How do you know if he is treating you like an option?

1.  You don't have plans in advance.  That's right - if you are important to him you will know what day and time to expect your date several days in advance.  This is only polite as a man should expect that you have a life too and need to make a game plan for your time.  Spontaneity is great but most of the time, expect respect.

2.  He only wants to see you late at night.  If his idea of dating always starts after 8 pm then you are a booty call option.  That or he uses you just to stroke his ego here and there.  Ya, it's okay to go to dinner at 8 pm at times but there should be more than that if he wants to get to know you.  Especially if he is someone who can't stay up late unless sex is involved. 

3.  He says that he isn't ready to commit and just wants to keep things casual.  This mean that not only are you an option but that he most likely has commitment issues.  Don't get sucked in.  It is okay in the very beginning to want to keep it cool and slow but after a month or two of dating he knows and so do you. 

4.  You make sure you are available in case he calls.  Haven't we all done this with the intention of making someone feel like they are a priority to us.  But what we are actually saying is that we will be treated like garbage and don't expect more.  Don't wait for his call.  Either he makes it happen or not but you need to keep living.

5.  If there is anything that makes you feel rejected and you stick around for more - you are acting like an option.  If he isn't respectful of you in every way and you continue to go out when it is good for him, then you are and will always be an option.  That is, until you act like the main event.  The basis of a good relationship is balance.  It can't always be on his terms. 

This is not by any means all inclusive but it does cover some good points.  We all have people in our lives who are all about themselves and who only contact us or want to get together when it is good and convenient for them.  But, real friends and people who care know that you deserve better.  If you are always left in doubt and wondering if you will hear from him or if he likes you then you need to be clear and honest and move on.  Expect more for yourself and it will come!