The End

Whether you are ending a string of dates with someone and have chosen a new direction or you are ending a relationship of any kind, how do you go about it?  Are you the person who just flat out says you are going to move on?  Or are you the person who just stops talking, texting, emailing, or calling cold turkey to get your "hint" across?

I never realized until lately that I have a very strong opinion about this.  I am the type of person who doesn't think there needs to be a big argument or a long drawn out process but I do think that if someone has invested time and effort with you that you owe them something.  It doesn't matter what you called the relationship.  It could have been a friend, it could have been a boyfriend or it could have been someone you have been on two dates with.  The bottom line to me is that they deserve the common courtesy and respect of hearing you say you are just going to move on. 

There are personalities that will avoid hard conversations at all costs.  I don't like them but I see how much good can come of them.  People need closure more often than not.  And sometimes constructive criticism can be great.  I had one guy who asked me why I didn't want to keep dating and I had to tell him point blank that he scared me because within two emails and a few texts he was talking about our future together and he hadn't even asked me out yet.  Maybe he will take that information and just play it a little more cool with the next girl and he will have better luck. 

My take is:  If we never know what we did that turned someone off (it isn't always us, sometimes it is just NO chemistry or a lack of seeing a future there which is fine!) or what we could have done differently then we don't have a  chance to improve ourselves.  I want to date but I want to date to have a good time and to learn more about others and myself so that when Mr. Right does come along (which I am in no hurry for) then I am my best for him and I will know that I have dated enough to know that he really is it, not just someone to stay with so you aren't lonely.  Being lonely is not a bad thing, it gives you time to get yourself together before someone new shows up.