Most of us make assumptions everyday on a number of issues and/or about people. Sometimes we assume the worst about them or we believe hearsay which is never a good idea. Other times we will give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that all people are good. I tend to error on this side of things and have found that there has to be a happy middle ground.
What is bothersome in a relationship is that you are most likely not thinking the same thing. Men and women are wired completely different in the brain. It has been my experience that it is hard to find a woman who thinks the way I do most of the time and this can be a problem even in friendships. It isn't to say that either party is right or wrong. No matter you relationship, everyone has the right to their opinions. However, you can't really come to an informed opinion if you haven't heard the other person's side.
I read a book about Emotional Intelligence. It was fascinating even though it was very long. One thought that has stuck with me is that when we communicate, it is important to ask questions for the sake of seeking true understanding of the other person. That we need to truly listen - not just calculate what we are going to say next or even calculate if we are going to respond. Have you ever spoken to someone in earnest and had them just sit and look at you unresponsively? It is a very lonely place to be. It would be awesome if both parties would just ask smart question that were to find understanding of the other person and the situation. Imagine the issues that would just work out if people could stay calm and truly care about the other persons perception for just a while and then to have it reciprocated. It would be ideal and problems would work out without resentment.
No comments:
Post a Comment