As a disclaimer, my ex knows about this blog and reads it periodically so no one can say I am talking about him behind his back. :)
The ex was in town for two weeks and leaves today. I am sad for my kids. I am happy for him as I am sure that after dealing with me for two weeks, he is ready for a few days alone in a car.
It is hard when you are used to just doing everything on your own with your kids to have someone else around. Not just an ex, anyone would bug you. It would seem like it should be help but it is actually quite painful. Help should not be so painful in my opinion.
I will say that every time he leaves I go through an odd thing. It is like self doubt. I ask myself questions. Can I get the house back on track? Can I really do all of this myself? It is just bizarre and only lasts a few days but it is like temporary insanity. I know what I can do and what I am capable of so why do I doubt? I guess that for the first while he is here I don't let my guard down and then once I realize he will at least keep them alive, I relax a little and it is nice to let your guard down but anxiety rises knowing that you have to get on guard again just as soon as he walks out the door. It is a roller coaster.
I did do some interesting and dumb online adventuring that I will post about later. All this relaxing and spare time has let to some funny stuff!
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